So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
