Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
