Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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