Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
