yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
