so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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