North Korea, Best Korea!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
