Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
