Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
