Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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