I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
