Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize