Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
