i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
