Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
