smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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