All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
