Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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