To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize