apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
