ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
