no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
