there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
