I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The power of my boobs compel you
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
