id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize