you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
