maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize