I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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