when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
