I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
