Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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