Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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