Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize