put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
