I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
