WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Randomize
