Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
