eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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