i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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