Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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