i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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