Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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