wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he had hair everywhere except his balls
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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