so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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