Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
