you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
