she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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