? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
