No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
