I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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