And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Success! We fucked roommates!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
