Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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