Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
