i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize