it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
