Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
