I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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