A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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