I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
