Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
