Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
