So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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