I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
